I got married for the first time at 19, mostly because I wanted to have my entire life mapped out before I started living it. Seems strange right, I am a free-spirit, artistic, gypsy right? Well the truth is, as much as I love to travel, enjoy life, and wear bright orange.... I also really enjoy control. I enjoy feeling like I am IN-CHARGE of the direction the wind blows me. Welp, lesson learned. We are NEVER in charge. God, the Universe, LIFE - whatever you wanna call it, lets us make choices; but knows that other individuals make bad ones too that effect us, and things just HAPPEN that will ALWAYS be outside of our control. Just like a public shitter.
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Miserable? - Get Off Your Ass /
I remember wishing everyday that my life would fast forward. That each day would pass faster because I was so miserable. I felt so empty without my stepsons. It was a huge transition to part ways after never being without them more than a day in 6 years. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I struggled the worst around holidays. I just wanted them to be over. I hated everything about them. I always felt like the universe treated me unfairly. Like I had been given a bad hand. Life was hard and unfair and nothing I had worked for had panned out.
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