I remember wishing everyday that my life would fast forward. That each day would pass faster because I was so miserable. I felt so empty without my stepsons. It was a huge transition to part ways after never being without them more than a day in 6 years. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I struggled the worst around holidays. I just wanted them to be over. I hated everything about them.  I always felt like the universe treated me unfairly. Like I had been given a bad hand. Life was hard and unfair and nothing I had worked for had panned out.